Every so often we find a friend who has a way with words. Maybe they've got a blog of their own, or perhaps they're a closeted comedian. Who would we be if we didn't give them a shot to stretch their wings and write? So, in that supportive way we know so well, please give a warm welcome to our guest blogger, Cleveland's own Tony Winn!
All photos by Julianna Arendash Photography.
With the swipe of my brow I think to myself, “It’s hot as Hell outside.”
Like “Why did you wear jeans on a sunny day? You twat!” hot. Yeah – that kind of heat.
It was so hot that I had to give Santa Claus a drink – the kind that isn’t milk and doesn’t come with cookies.
But I’m relaxed – in fact, some may argue that I’m cool.
Beach Boys cool.
Why? Because I had the pleasure of coolin’ off by reviewing the chilly treats offered here at the flea.
Sit back, relax, crank up the A/C and enjoy.
Listen I get it: you don’t view pickles as a cold treat. I know why – it’s because you live in a box; a big, dumb, brown box and have yet to see the light! I have the solution for you; expand your life and try Randy’s cold pack black pepper chips. This a pickle guys pickle – the kind they write stories about. This pickle isn’t for you “I only eat pickles when they come wrapped up on the side of my sandwich” type. Oh no – this is for the jar buyers, the heavy hitters, the pickle elite. Essentially what separates this pickle from the pack is that it is processed cold throughout the entire production, opposed to getting hit with the heat. This glaring difference leaves the pickle tasting like a half cucumber, half pickle hybrid with the perfect amount of crunch. 10/10 I will be back for more.
As if selling ice cream on a sweltering summer day wasn’t already the perfect recipe for an easy sell, Piccadilly took the game next-level when they started making ice cream with liquid nitrogen right before your very eyes. Piccadilly you win, Piccadilly you win. Besides the fact that the final product is rich and you can literally taste the fresh chocolate melting on your tongue; Piccadilly wins alone based on style points. It’s not often you see the ice cream you order get made from scratch. It’s real cool – pun intended. Side note: I actually dropped my ice cream! Butterfingers strikes again! However, I’ll have you know that I picked it up and ate it because to me, the five second rule is the law of the land.
Like an umbrella on a rainy day, the Happy Camper Bar car is your mirage actualized in a dry desert. What more can you ask for? Half of the appeal of any brunch is catching a buzz in a socially acceptable way! The good news is Happy Camper Bar Car is selling the fix. You know my doctor said I needed to eat more fruits, consequently I ordered the Blue Berry sour, their cocktail of the month. You can tell the ingredients are fresh, and the flavor is best accented by the summer weather. It’s the perfect drink for this time of year; a true match made in heaven. Once again Happy Camper Bar Car, you boozy bastard, you did it again!
What’s a better representation of summer than ice cold lemonade? This classically cool stand serves up glass after glass of their aesthetically pleasing lemonade – trust me, their looks alone will get you to buy. I ordered their pineapple lemonade and not only did it physically look vibrant, but you could taste summer of years past with each sip. On a sizzling summer afternoon the Lemonade Bar will always be the refreshing choice.
The winner of the “best dressed” cold treat without a doubt goes to Maui Shaved Ice. I mean holy presentation, do you peacock much? I ordered the dreamsicle and it was served with the ice towering over the glass like a gargoyle standing guard on top of a skyscraper. Everyone in the summer wants shaved ice, EVERYONE. Maui Shaved Ice serves your childhood memories one cup at a time and is the perfect sidekick for hot summer days.
True Story – The Cleveland Flea was held during the same week as the Fourth of July and unbeknownst to you, on the Fourth I ate like shit. My insides were hurting and I was craving something healthy to bring me back to life. That said, I was extremely happy to have run into the Smooth Rider truck. Aside from their cool name- (Again, pun intended) Smooth Rider has mastered the art of making the healthy taste… well tasty! I ordered their kokomo kale smoothie and my ego felt better knowing I was putting good into my otherwise rotting body. The smoothie was very fresh tasting, a certain result of fresh ingredients. You’ll be happy to know that their smoothies are dairy free, vegan, soy-free, gluten free, uses non-GMO all natural organic yogurt, with antioxidant infusion and fruit. All the buzzwords in one cup, where can you go wrong?
Tony loves the Flea. Tony has a season pass wristband. Be like Tony.
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